Next Wednesday will be my last day working! So excited! Work's killing me. -_- And the pay is pathetic. You work like a cow and you get less than what you worked for. Not that I wanna complain but seriously... every part timer is getting a pay rise and I can't coz I don't work long enough to complete my training. -_-
I'm gonna quit this job and go back home for 2 weeks. I need a good rest. I'm sleep deprived. Nightmares and cluttered mind made it worse. I woke up from a nightmare again today. The worse nightmares are those that you remember vividly after you wake up. I still remember my nightmare 2 weeks ago and it's not nice. Feels like an omen.
Dad got into an accident. He got knocked down by a car when he was on his motorcycle. And again, I was the last to know. He's fine now but he's got a huge patch of burn on his arm.
I don't like this. The last time my mom was hospitalised, she kept it from me until my bro called. I know they didn't want me to worry. The thing is, it's not helping, it only made me want to leave this country even more. It's hard to balance. It's not easy to be here, in a foreign country all by myself.
My thoughts are so negative lately it's scaring me. I cry to sleep without reasons. There were nights when I had my eyes wide open till 4 and woke up at 6 for work. There were also nights when I couldn't sleep, I cried, because I felt so helpless. Stupid stupid stupid. And I thought I was getting a depression. HAHAHA. Dumb. -_-
The camp's coming up but I think I haven't done a good job as a leader. I was completely selfish and self indulged. I wanted to run away because I was such a coward. I'm grateful for those who were willing to listen and showed me the way again. =)
The worst thought to have, is to think that noone's there for you, when you turn your back on everyone.
I'm gonna quit this job and go back home for 2 weeks. I need a good rest. I'm sleep deprived. Nightmares and cluttered mind made it worse. I woke up from a nightmare again today. The worse nightmares are those that you remember vividly after you wake up. I still remember my nightmare 2 weeks ago and it's not nice. Feels like an omen.
Dad got into an accident. He got knocked down by a car when he was on his motorcycle. And again, I was the last to know. He's fine now but he's got a huge patch of burn on his arm.
I don't like this. The last time my mom was hospitalised, she kept it from me until my bro called. I know they didn't want me to worry. The thing is, it's not helping, it only made me want to leave this country even more. It's hard to balance. It's not easy to be here, in a foreign country all by myself.
My thoughts are so negative lately it's scaring me. I cry to sleep without reasons. There were nights when I had my eyes wide open till 4 and woke up at 6 for work. There were also nights when I couldn't sleep, I cried, because I felt so helpless. Stupid stupid stupid. And I thought I was getting a depression. HAHAHA. Dumb. -_-
The camp's coming up but I think I haven't done a good job as a leader. I was completely selfish and self indulged. I wanted to run away because I was such a coward. I'm grateful for those who were willing to listen and showed me the way again. =)
The worst thought to have, is to think that noone's there for you, when you turn your back on everyone.
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